(January 2005)

If an issue is discussed on the business pages of The New York Times and in Dear Abby, it must be an important one. The Times of January 2nd included an article (written by Jennifer Friedlin) entitled "After Writing a Will, You Still Have I's to Dot." Dear Abby from January 3rd had a letter from "Dutiful Daughter In Middletown, N.J." that essentially talked about the same issue. (Both of these documents can be found online - Ms. Friedlin's article is at www.nytimes.com (registration required), and the Dear Abby column can be found at www.dearabby.com. I'm also happy to mail a copy of either or both of these documents to anyone without internet access.)

The gist of both articles is that we need to communicate better with our loved ones about what should happen upon our death (or disability). A will and/or a living trust provide a great start to this process, but there's a lot of necessary information that may not be included in those documents.

I have been administering estates for almost ten years (!), and the biggest problems I encounter are what I call "The Two F's":

Finding asset and liability information.

Fighting among the beneficiaries.

Getting your affairs organized can go a long way toward eliminating these problems. More specifically, here are five things everyone can do to combat The Two F's:

1. Prepare a list of your assets and liabilities, along with important information regarding each asset (account number, how it's titled, approximate value, etc.). Place this list with your important legal documents, and update it every year or so.

2. Prepare a list - with contact information - of your financial advisors (attorneys, financial planners, insurance agents, accountants) and doctors. Leave the list of financial advisors with your important legal documents. Share the list of doctors with your loved ones.

3. Talk to your loved ones (especially the agent under your health care power of attorney) about what type of care you would like if you become disabled. The Illinois form of power of attorney for health care allows you to indicate your wishes regarding life-sustaining treatment by initialing one of three paragraphs, but this may not be sufficient. Consider writing a letter to your loved ones, so there's no confusion about what you desire.

4. Similarly, talk to (and/or write a letter to) your loved ones with burial instructions. Would you like to be cremated? Would you like to be buried in a specific cemetery? Would you like a religious service or not? Would you like Frank Sinatra's "My Way" to be played at your funeral?

5. Make a list of specific tangible personal property, and who should receive it. This has become a huge issue of contention, one that can be solved with a little forethought. My standard documents call for tangible personal property (which includes items like art, antiques, furniture, and jewelry) to pass to the decedent's surviving spouse or, if he or she isn't living, to the decedent's children in shares of substantially equal value. If you have a living trust, you can easily (i.e., without the aid of an attorney) execute a tangible personal property direction. This direction will enable you to give specific items of tangible personal property to specific individuals, thereby circumventing the default, and can be changed at any time. I prefer to put the direction in writing so that all beneficiaries are on the same page (and we don't run into the situation, after Mom dies, of three beneficiaries telling the attorney that "Mom wanted ME to have the silver candlesticks"). One hint: To avoid confusion, be specific in your descriptions of the property. Another hint: As is mentioned in the Dear Abby column, if you're a parent with grown children, you may want to allow your children to choose items of tangible personal property that they wish to receive upon your death. You can then memorialize these wishes in your direction. Some people consider this method to be unseemly and/or morbid, and it may not be a good idea in all family situations, but it's a thought.

For questions about organizing your affairs, please consult a qualified estate planning attorney.